Random Synapse Firings #1

Ten thoughts that popped into my head while reading on the bowl. None worthy of an entire blog about, but all worth mentioning:

1) If you find yourself halfway through December, shopping for last-minute (or mid-minute...or whatever) XMas gifts, and you're dealing with either other people's or your own XMas Rage (the XMas shopping equivalent of road rage), you probably have your local Shitty Soccer Mom radio station to thank. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and already one local station (93.3 FM in the Boston area) is bludgeoning the air wave with good cheer and jingle bells. I heard The Carpenters' "No Place Like Home For The Holidays" and wanted to punch someone - in this case, the DJ - in the face. I can't imagine what I'll be like after the 20th or 30th time I hear Nat King Cole singing about Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire, which will probably be on November 25th, at the rate these damned songs get played on the radio and in the malls. No wonder more and more people voice their hatred of XMas (and I use the term XMas because there's nothing religious about what goes on between November 1st and December 30th...).

2) Every October, as part of my Halloween traditions, I read Stephen King's Danse Macabre. And every year I experience something new - a novel or film, etc - within. This year I bought the entire TV show, Thriller. I'm still sifting through the set's 14 DVDs. Good to great stuff. I also made it a point in October to read some of King's recommended novels. Donovan's Brain...William Goldman's Magic...a James Herbert novel...and Anne River Siddons' The House Next Door. Though I agree with King's points about that last novel, I can't actually believe he enjoyed it. In fact, I have to believe that he made some money by including it in his overview of "great horror novels." That he included it in the same discussion as Jackson's The Haunting Of Hill House staggered me - it's like comparing a classic muscle car to a punch in the taint. Siddons' book - while it had its creepy moments and a pretty solid ending - was plodding, with dialogue that would make the hackiest soap opera script writer laugh out loud. Apparently, in 1970s upscale suburbia, the greatest horrors one could find are homosexuality, extreme depression, and illegitimate children. If Anne River Siddons wishes to write another "horror" novel, I'd suggest she go the serial killer route and make it about a guy who farts loudly at banquets. Her readers would have CORONARIES!!!

3) When the most fun one has playing fantasy football is the act of naming one's team, one probably shouldn't play fantasy football. I'm in various states of playoff contention in my leagues, and am equally apathetic towards them all. Still, when I look them all over the day before the first game of the week, I have to chuckle. Riley Steele's Bum and Executive Koalas each earn a "tee hee," but Romancin' Tory Lane and Ribbed For Her Pleasure (actually named by my wife) fully crack me up.

4) That said, February - and fantasy baseball season - can't come fast enough...

5) If there's one word that - upon its utterance - can reduce me to fits of giggling and joy, it's "Hausu." And, yes, there WILL be a full blog post about it.

6) What would possess someone to air personal issues in a public forum like Facebook, using another person's account? At best, it's a bit creepy, and worth cocking one's eyebrow at said person. At worst, it's scummy, and the person in question should probably take a good long look at him/herself.

7) My Basset Hounds bay at me and/or my wife at least once a day, and this has been going on for the last few months. It starts with DeeDee giving us a quick "woof," builds to a full series of barks, and then there's a pause before DeeDee lets fly with a soulful (for her) howl. Within moments, LuLu joins in with a high pitched offering of her own. This can go on anywhere from just a minute to the point where we have to beg the dogs to shut up. And it makes me laugh every time. There's an earnestness in DeeDee's face as she "sings" that always breaks me. And when LuLu stares at us with a look of confusion at the proceeding before joining in because she thinks she has to, it kills me. If it happens at Thanksgiving, at my in-laws' house, with the added voices of their Basset and Bloodhound, I may just pee my pants...

8) The upside to playing WoW in the month before the next expansion? Picking and choosing which achievements you'll acquire. The complete lack of pressure to do any sort of raiding. Making crazy amounts of gold at one's own pace. Helping my brother learn the game as we prepare to play Worgen in the next expansion (Worgen, by the way, are werewolves, and are the whole reason I started playing in the first place). The downside? Almost everyone else I enjoy playing with are burnt out on the game and haven't been around. I miss my friends (*sob!*)...

9) I watched the first week of Conan O'Brien's new talk show. While it's obvious that they're still getting back into the groove of the format and its requirements - the pacing of the show is a little off and whoever is in charge of the musical guest's soundboard needs a beating (poor Chris Cornell...) - the show itself is pretty damned solid. Great interplay with the guests, good to great opening monologues, and a good balance of self-effacing humor and shitting on NBC. I'll keep watching.

10) Could someone PLEASE watch Bitchin' Kitchen on The Cooking Channel and explain to me why I keep watching? The chick who "hosts" the show isn't hot, her voice and accent are annoying as hell, and the cast of men who serve as "comic relief" should all be castrated (or at least forced to serve as the test audience for Carlos Mencia). WHY HAVEN'T I MISSED AN EPISODE???